The Silly World of Chelm Has Moved to Massachusetts

The Silly World of Chelm Has Moved

© David Burton 2012

The Silly World of Chelm

     Chelm - “In East European Jewish folklore, the city of Chelm . . . functions as an imaginary city of fools. The legendary ‘town of fools,’ often presented ironically as ‘The Wise Men of {Chelm},’ spawned hundreds of tales describing outlandish naiveté and stupidity that have been printed in dozens of editions in a variety of languages.”

     “Examples of Chelm stories are:

    ‘Which is more important, the sun or the moon?’ a citizen of Chelm asked the rabbi.
    ‘What a silly question!’ snapped the cleric. ‘The moon, of course! It shines at night when we really need it. But who needs the sun to shine when it is already broad daylight?’”

    “The melamed {Jewish religious teacher} of Chelm was speaking with his wife.
    ‘If I were Rothschild, I’d be richer than he.’
    ‘How can that be?’ asked the wife. ‘You would both have the same amount of money.’
    ‘True,’ he agreed, ‘but I’d do a little teaching on the side.’”   (Ref. 1)

     It would seem that the “The Wise Men of Chelm” referred to above have moved from their Eastern European town and taken up residence in the state of Massachusetts. To many, Massachusetts is rightly viewed by many “as a state full of Prius-driving, thin-skinned, far left academics who spend their spare time supporting the Occupy movement and knitting ‘Peace Now’ flags out of fair-trade hemp.” (Ref. 2)

     Here in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, which should now be renamed “Chelmachusetts,” we have a liberal, Democratic governor, Duval Patrick, who apparently believes that illegal immigrants should be allowed to register automobiles in the same way as legal residents of the state and who doesn’t see anything wrong with welfare recipients using their food stamp cards, now known as EBT (Electronic Benefits Transfer) cards, for guns, tattoos, pornography, fees, fines and bail. In opposition to the wishes of the state legislature, he “rejected budget riders to prohibit vehicle registrations without proof of legal residency and to ban use of welfare benefit cards for the purchase of nonessentials such as tattoos, travel services, guns and pornography.” (Ref. 3)

     In defending his decision, the governor said, “I’m not going to do anything that makes people beg for their benefits. This notion of humiliating poor people {when they want to purchase a gun or pornography} has got to be separated and disposed of from how we make a program work and work well and with integrity.” At the same time, “Mr. Patrick refused to sign provisions for the Registrar of Motor Vehicles to require proof of legal residency to register a vehicle.” (Ref. 3)

     Here in Chelmachusetts, not only could Illegal aliens register a motor vehicle, but they could also obtain a drivers’ license. “The policy of the Registry of Motor Vehicles effectively enables unlicensed drivers and illegal aliens to operate on the Commonwealth’s roadways.” A Massachusetts legislator has been trying unsuccessfully since 2005 to have the law changed. Most recently: In October 2009, an illegal immigrant allegedly drove through a stop sign and a blinking red light before killing a person; In February 2011, another person was killed when an illegal immigrant, allegedly lost control of his friend’s car and spun into the opposite lane and smashed into the car in which the victim was a passenger; In August 2011, an illegal alien was arrested after his vehicle allegedly struck and killed a 23-year old; In June 2012, an illegal alien from Brazil was charged with motor-vehicle homicide following a two-car crash in Canton which killed a 64-year old grandmother.

     The Massachusetts legislator said, “These tragedies occurred because a loophole exists that enables people without driver’s licenses and without any sort of training to register and get behind the wheel of a car,” (Ref. 4)

     “Even before being sworn in as {Chelmachsetts} governor in January 2007, current Governor Patrick announced plans to rescind an order issued by his Republican predecessor, Mitt Romney, allowing state police officers to arrest illegal immigrants.
. . .
“Patrick was challenged anew on immigrant policy during last fall's {2010} election campaign, after Massachusetts balked for more than a year at signing onto a federal plan to use an FBI fingerprint database to determine the immigration status of people arrested in the state. . . . Patrick agreed to support the program — but only after saying the Obama administration was forcing him to do so.” (Ref. 5)

     In our wonderful world of Chelmachusetts, not only do we give aid and comfort to illegal aliens, but we also protect the rights of everyone - especially, the rights of repeat criminals, sex offenders and child molesters. “The state’s Level 2 sex offenders – from rapists to child porn purveyors – are not listed on any online registry, because some lawmakers are throwing a roadblock in the name of protecting privacy rights of convicts. . . . The move is also costing Massachusetts hundreds of thousands in lost crime-fighting bucks. ‘We have lawmakers saying out loud that these dangerous criminals, who are more likely than not targeting defenseless children, are entitled to privacy so we can’t know who they are. On what planet can a decent human being make an argument that this should be private information?’” (Ref. 6) That answer to that question is simple - we are on that planet here in Chelmachusetts.

     Where, but in a Chelm-like place like Massachusetts, would it be a crime to transport a legally owned weapon? Chelmachusetts “is the only state where it is a crime, with a mandatory prison sentence of at least one year, to transport a lawfully owned gun for a lawful purpose in an automobile without a special permit. Out-of-state drivers traveling to hunting or gun competitions in the Northeast have to choose between going hours out of their way to avoid Massachusetts, or spending hours attempting to obtain a permit.” (Ref. 7)

     It’s a given that Chelmachusetts is soft on crime. Such has been evident since the days of Michael Dukakis and renowned murderer and rapist Willie Horton. Willie Horton who, while serving a life sentence for murder, without the possibility of parole, was the beneficiary of a Massachusetts weekend furlough program. He did not return from his furlough, and ultimately he committed assault, armed robbery and rape. Nothing has really changed here in the intervening years. Our current Democratic governor had to “fend off accusations he was soft on crime . . . after revelations about his repeated efforts to win parole for a convicted rapist.” (Ref. 5) More recently, the state Parole Board's decision to release an inmate serving a triple life sentence resulted in the subsequent shooting and killing of a Woburn police officer during a jewelry heist.

     "Three-time life sentence guy?" an incredulous U.S. Sen. Scott Brown, a Massachusetts Republican and former state lawmaker, said when asked about the board's unanimous vote. "What? Are you kidding me?" (Ref. 5) No, we’re not kidding you – this is Chelmachusetts!

     In Chelmachusetts, flying the American flag may be considered offensive. “A civil rights controversy is brewing at an elementary school in the Town of Orange, and it all surrounds an 11 year-old's drawing of the American Flag . . . {when} a teacher allegedly told him that hanging his picture of the American flag would offend another student. {Consequently} he was not allowed to hang the flag up. And, he asked if he could just even hang it on his desk, and he was told no.” (Ref. 8)

     Heaven forbid, that photographic identification be required to vote in Massachusetts. “How often do liberals rail against conservatives for daring to believe that a photo ID be required to vote in elections. Liberals scream ‘suppression’, ‘disenfranchisement’, racism, etc.” But, when Massachusetts delegates . . . meet in their state's Democrat party convention this year – you guessed it - photo ID’s will be required.

     “Wait, what? {Liberal} Democrats tell us that photo ID requirements disenfranchise minority voters, who, inexplicably, have limited access to photo IDs. Yet, at their own convention, they insist that all delegates provide a photo ID to even have access to the convention floor. When their own party is at stake, it seems their priorities are somewhat different tha{n} their rhetoric suggests.” (Ref. 9) But, let’s remember, the silly little town of Chelm has been transplanted to Massachusetts. What else would one expect?

     Here in Chelmachusetts, 12 year olds could soon be receiving free condoms. “Condoms may soon be available for students as young as 12 in Springfield, Massachusetts public schools. {The} school committee voted 5-1 in favor of this new policy in an effort to prevent sexually-transmitted diseases and pregnancy.”
. . .
“Under this new policy, a student would be able to walk into the nurse's office and request a free condom, but at the same time, they would be educated about abstinence, how to use a condom [Emphasis mine], as well as the consequences of having sex.” (Ref. 10)

     While a 12-year old could receive a free condom in a Chelmachusetts school, he woudn't be allowed to sing the word "GOD" in a patriotic song. "An elementary school in Massachusetts has told kids not to say the word “God” in the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless the USA” during a recent assembly. Instead, they wanted students to say, “We love the USA.” Many parents were not happy with this move . . . The school decided that they would pull the song from the assembly all together instead of continuing a debate about it.
. . .
"Lee Greenwood weighed in on the matter issuing this statement: 'We can’t take God out of the song, we can’t take God out of the The Pledge of Allegiance, we can’t take God off of the American currency . . . The phrase God Bless the USA has a very important meaning for those in the military and their families, as well as new citizens coming to our country.'” (Ref. 11)

     And where else but in the silly world of Chelmachusetts, could the mayor of the state’s capital city threaten to prohibit the opening of a retail business because the owner of the business is personally opposed to gay marriage? The chain of successful restaurants in question does not practice discrimination based upon sexual preference and none of the stores in the chain have apparently ever been cited for discrimination under any of the multitude of federal, state and city anti-discrimination laws throughout the country.

     Boston’s mayor has stated that he will not allow a Chick-fil-A restaurant to open in the capital of Massachusetts because the owner of the Chick-fil-A chain is opposed to gay marriage, which the mayor has championed. “In most cities in the civilized world, a business owner’s opinions about cultural, political or social issues would be irrelevant to his ability to do business. . . . Ah, but this isn’t the civilized world. This is Boston. . . . It’s liberal, tolerant and diverse Boston. . . . {After all,} “what kind of ‘tolerant’ city allows people in who have opinions we don’t agree with?” (Ref. 12)


  1. Wise Men of Chelm, The YIVO Encyclopedia of Jews in Eastern Europe, Accessed 23 July 2012.
  2. Outside money on Liz, Michael Graham, Boston Herald, page 15, 20 July 2012.
  3. House gives thumbs down to Gov. Patrick, John J. Monahan,, 12 July 2012.
  4. Hedlund’s Illegal Immigrant Motor Vehicle Reforms Sent to Governor Patrick, Tony Catinella, Hingham Patch;, Accessed 24 July 2012.
  5. Deval Patrick says he's tough on crime despite parole release connected to death of Woburn officer John Maguire, Glen Johnson; The Associated Press, The Republican: Massachusetts;, Page 7, 4 January 2011 {Accessed 26 July 2012}.
  6. ‘Silly’ Policy Shelters Offenders, Erin Smith and Matt Stout, Boston Herald, Page 7, 25 July 2012.
  7. Massachusetts liberal, Tony Catinella, Conservapedia;, Accessed 24 July 2012.
  8. Kid's Drawing of Old Glory Suppressed, Dave Blount, Moonbattery;, 13 May 2011.
  9. Liberal Hypocrisy Alert: MA. Democratic Convention Requires Photo ID For Entrance, Susan Duclos, Wake up America; , 2 June 2012.
  10. Condom controversy at Springfield, Massachusetts middle school, Kevin Held,;, 19 March 2012.
  11. Massachusetts School Removes “God” From Lee Greenwood Song “God Bless the USA”, Fox News; , 5 April 2012.
  12. Menino lays an egg, Michael Graham, Boston Herald, Page 19, 25 July 2012.

26 Jul 2012 {Article 134; State_08}    
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