Not so Far-Fetched Fables

Not so Far-Fetched Fables

© David Burton 2012

Government Agencies

The Geese That Laid the Golden Eggs

     This is the story of two kingdoms, two different choices in the ways to run these kingdoms and the two different consequences of these choices.

     Once upon a time there were two neighboring kingdoms – one was The People’s Democratic Republic, and the other The State of Responsibility. Over time, in each kingdom, there evolved unique gaggles of geese. These geese were unique because they laid golden eggs. The people in both kingdoms initially prospered by tending to the geese and selling the golden eggs that they produced. As they prospered, the two kingdoms became the envy of the rest of the world.
     While the people in the two kingdoms tended their geese and enjoyed the wealth created by their golden eggs, they gradually developed different forms of government and attitudes. The people of The People’s Democratic Republic chose a form of government that controlled and managed all the resources in the kingdom, including the geese that laid the golden eggs. The government in The People’s Democratic Republic set up a Goose Management Bureau to oversee the wealth created by geese. This bureaucracy, in concert with the liberal policies of the government, took the income from the sale of the golden eggs and handed out benefits to all the citizens of the kingdom. No one worked in The People’s Democratic Republic, they were given free housing, free health care, unlimited unemployment benefits, food stamps, etc. Soon, the money needed to support the non-productive people in The People’s Democratic Republic exceeded the income from the sale of the golden eggs. To make up for the financial shortfall, the government borrowed money from abroad. They discouraged the establishment of domestic businesses, through high corporate tax rates, the imposition of arcane and burdensome regulations, and hindered private enterprise to the extent that businesses could not sell their products at competitive prices in the foreign marketplace. Foreign debt rose because of the massive government borrowing and the fact that it was cheaper to import foreign products than to produce them domestically. As a result, jobs for those willing to work became scarce. The best and the brightest in the kingdom picked up and left for the neighboring State of Responsibility where opportunities for leading a productive life still existed.
     Unemployment stayed high in The People’s Democratic Republic and government debt was astronomical. But, nobody cared because of the government handouts and entitlement programs that supported them. Eventually, no more money could be borrowed from abroad and not enough revenue could be raised through domestic taxation to support the government largesse. Food started to become scarce. To solve this problem, the government of The People’s Democratic Republic decided to slaughter the golden geese and hand them out to the people in place of the now useless food stamps.
     Eventually, all the geese were killed off. There were no more golden eggs to sell. Businesses failed and there were no jobs. There were no more government handouts and the peopled all starved to death, Thus, The People’s Democratic Republic came to an inglorious but foreseeable end.
     Over the same span of time, the people in the State of Responsibility elected to follow a different path. They opted to allow the individual citizens and the businesses in their kingdom to decide how best to utilize the resources of the kingdom and, most importantly, what to do with the geese that were laying the golden eggs. They opted for a small government with low tax rates and minimal government interference in their lives and in the conduct of business. As a result, small and large companies emerged and grew. Entrepreneurs innovated ways to use the kingdom’s geese and their golden eggs, and also to generate other products and services. As businesses prospered, they hired new employees. As businesses grew and were profitable, income from corporate taxes rose in spite of (or, realistically, because of) low tax rates. Low unemployment rates meant lower unemployment compensation and more income taxes paid by individuals. Domestic taxes were adequate to support the small government of the State of Responsibility. There was no need to borrow money from foreign governments. With low tax rates and minimum regulatory burdens, businesses were able to compete in the world marketplace. There was no foreign trade imbalance. Government entitlements were limited to those who truly needed them instead of to all who wanted handouts. The cost of running the kingdom’s government was affordable.
     The individuals and businesses in the State of Responsibility made efficient use of their geese and the golden eggs. The number of geese grew and their productivity increased. As a result, the people in the State of Responsibility prospered and lived happily ever after.

Moral of the story: Don’t kill the geese that lay the golden eggs!

How to Catch Wild Pigs (Distributed by email - Author unknown)

     There was a Chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab the Prof noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

     The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.

     In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, 'Do you know how to catch wild pigs?'

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.

     The young man said this was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence.
     "They get used to that and start to eat, again you continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.
     "Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity."

     The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms just a little at a time.

     One should always remember "There is no such thing as a free lunch!!" also "You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself."

     All of this wonderful government "help" is the problem confronting the future of democracy in America. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, God help you, your children and your grandchildren when the gate slams shut.

The Ant and the Grasshopper in America

     There was an ant that worked hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thought he was a fool and laughed and danced and played around the whole summer. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper called a press conference and demanded to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others were cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC showed up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The American public was stunned by the sharp contrast. How could it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper was allowed to suffer so?
     Later, a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association for the Advancement of Green Bugs) showed up on Nightline and charged the ant with "green bias", and made the case that the grasshopper was the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog and the grasshopper appeared on Oprah, and everybody cried when the grasshopper sang "It's Not Easy Being Green." Barack and Michelle Obama made a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they would do everything they could for the grasshopper who had been denied the comfort and prosperity that he deserved by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan and Bush summers." Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi exclaimed in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant had gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and they called for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafted the "Economic Equity and Anti-greenism Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs. With nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home was confiscated by the government. Hillary Clinton’s old law firm was hired to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case was tried before a panel of federal judges that President Obama appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who were only able to hear the case on Thursday afternoon between 1:30 and 3:00 PM when no talk shows were scheduled.
     The ant lost the case.
     This story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government subsidized house he's in -- which just happens to be the ant's old house -- crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on his 72-inch High Definition Television set, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's household goods, we see Barack Obama standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.

The Little Red Hen (Adapted from Ronald Reagan – November 1976)

     Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said “If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?”

"Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose.

     "Then I will," said the little red hen. And she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck. "Out of my classification," said the pig. "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow. "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

     "Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

     At last the time came to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow. "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck. "I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig. "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

     "Then I will," said the little red hen.

     She baked five loaves and held them up for the neighbors to see.

     They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."

"Excess profits," cried the cow. "Capitalist leech," screamed the duck. "I demand equal rights," yelled the goose. And the pig just grunted.

     And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched round and around the little red hen shouting obscenities.

     When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."

     "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

     "Exactly," said the agent. "That's the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations productive workers must divide their products with the idle."

     And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, I am grateful." But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread.

     Are these fables so far-fetched?

     Are these just fables or a picture of the future?


  24 December 2012 {Article 154; Govt_38 }    
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